Day 90 - Final Post

Crikey - final post. So many thoughts. Ninety days seemed to take ages but yet it is all over so soon. It has been a really interesting journey.

Lets get to the photos as that is what people want to see. 

Day 1 83.8 kg

Day 90 71.6 kg

Day 1

Day 90

How do I feel about these photos?  I still cringe when I look at the Day 1 photos. When they were taken I had been avoiding photos for a while. I was in total denial that I was that huge as it was never how I thought of myself.

When I saw photos from a holiday in Australia in May, I saw myself as I really was - and I didn't like it. I was embarrassed and quickly deleted as many of them as I could. But I didn't know what to do. As I was breastfeeding I was too afraid to "diet" as I didn't want to compromise my milk supply. My friends and family were too polite to say anything - bless them - but I really needed somebody to give me a kick up the bum sooner. I happened to catch a twitter message about somebody who was on PCP and a quick google search lead me here. I could just have easily never heard of this program and I would still be the size of a small car but probably more depressed about it.

Now at Day 90, I have finally lost the baby weight and the post baby weight gain and I am looking closer to how I think I look in my head - if that makes sense. My body shape has totally changed and my face looks more like "me" again. More importantly, I am feeling more like "me" again but a more energetic and healthier me.

My body responded very quickly to the exercise and the healthier diet and I lost weight quickly. I have lost 12.2kg on the scales but I don't have any more stats to report as I didn't take note of them at the start. Again this is due to the denial I was in at the time. I am happy to report I am back into my pre-pregnancy clothes and I have thrown away the "fat" clothes I needed to buy. The maternity clothes are all packed away now too. My boobs are still enormous and so some of my clothes are not yet fitting again but they will as soon as I have fully weaned Max.

I do think that the photos speak louder than any numbers.

The journey has been really interesting. I have learned so much about my fellow PCP'ers - previously complete strangers on the internet - and also about myself. I have really enjoyed the blogs and sharing the ups and downs of everybody. I was really rooting for all of you as your successes, however minor, made me happy and inspired me to push on. Hearing about your challenges helped me deal with mine.  Working out at home by oneself is quite difficult after all but I didn't feel alone with the community aspect of PCP. This was a team effort but all the results are individual - a fairly unique scenario.

It was sensational to meet Conny in person the other week. I loved reading her delightfully honest posts and related to her enthusiasm. I hope to catch up with her again soon. It would be great to meet other PCP'ers but not sure if geographically possible.

I am quite proud of myself that I didn't miss any workouts or skipping despite having wanted to more than a few times. It would be a lie to say I did it all at 100% effort. There were some days that I was just going through the motions. Other days, time management was a challenge. There were days that I threw down my jumprope in frustration and other days that the minutes just slipped by.

I kept to the diet about 90%. There were a few spectacular fails that I wrote about on the blogged about but there were other sneaky cheats of chocolates, lollies or glasses of wine from time to time. There were some days that a few extra grams ended up on my plate or the few times I had pork for my protein. But overall I did really well for myself. At the end of the day, it was only myself that was I was cheating and I think this is the lesson I have finally learned. I needed to stop thinking that I was entitled to whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it and to remember the consequences would only be felt by me. So I have manned up and taken responsibility for what I put in my mouth.

What were my goals? In public, I said that I wanted more energy as I was a new parent, albeit a new parent at 40. This goal was certainly achieved. I have so much more energy now and think nothing of chasing my crawling son around the house - his favourite game at the moment. In private, I wanted to feel more human again, rather than just a baby maker, wife and carer. I have certainly found myself again and rediscovered my sense of humour.

For evidence, see cheesy photos below:

Some more photos - this time with the Maxinator.

Day 1

Day 90

My beautiful baby has become a little boy.

I have much less back fat.

I enjoyed food side of PCP. I loved weighing out the grams and planning menus to fit within those grams. Going back to work and managing the baby, day care and the house was actually good timing as PCP took away a few variables that I didn't need to manage. I learned that my choices and portion control was way, way out of synch with what my body needed - even while breastfeeding. Also, I have re-learned the simple joys of food. That said, I am looking forward to working out menus with legumes again - tofu, lentils, beans etc.

Have I become vain and smug? Probably a little bit. However, I had been so focused on everything and everybody else that my needs and sense of self had become lost. I am still a long way from what would be considered buff, or in peak condition, but I feel like I have gained control of myself again.

What is next for me? I am not sure as I am still processing the last 90 days - hence this rambling blog post. But if you have read any of my previous posts, then you will be used to that by now. Certainly, I see lots more skipping in my future. I think this morning's workout proved to me how far I have come and that I have actually become friends with my jump rope. I even went out today and bought new batteries for it. I look forward to the maintenance information and decide after a break what my next wellness goals will be.

A huge thank you to Patrick whose calm mentorship and common sense advice cut through the hysteria and corrected years of over thinking. Another big thank you to all the other PCP'ers. Good luck to you all.